(DISCLAIMER FOR BOYS: I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT GIRL STUFF…READ WITH CAUTION)
To get straight to the point I initially paused on blogging because I thought I was pregnant, then I wasn’t. You see, my personality is an “all or nothing” one….so when I thought I was pregnant all I could think about was baby, and the blog just slipped from my mind!
It started as it usually does…..I felt pregnancy symptoms and decided to take a test. (I am breastfeeding so I still hadn’t started my period after having my baby girl last February so I couldn’t say that I had missed a period). It was positive. BUT the line was faint. I have always heard “any line means your pregnant” and “there is no such thing as a false positive” so of course I assumed I was pregnant. With my last pregnancy it was almost the same situation; my first test had a very faint line. Anyway, I thought, “This is it! I am pregnant and I am going to have Irish twins!” I told my husband, we celebrated, thanked God for the opportunity to be parents again, prayed for sanity, then told our family. One of the reasons I was so excited was because it was difficult for me to get pregnant on my own the first time. I went through several infertility tests and ended up taking a medicine called Clomid to help my eggs drop…and after a few rounds we got pregnant. So thinking that I got pregnant naturally floored me!
We went to the doctors later and they gave me a blood pregnancy test to confirm my pregnancy and it was negative. I was so confused! I thought they were wrong about their diagnosis so I went to the store and bought two more pregnancy tests (one generic like the first, and the other a First Response). The First Response came back “Not Pregnant” while the generic test came back positive again (faint line). This was followed by of course more confusion and major googling as to what in the heck was going on. I have to admit to you all that in that time I went through all the stages of grief in a matter of minutes. At first I was ecstatic that I was pregnant, then I felt dumb for telling people I was, then disappointed and sad that I wasn’t, and then just confused. (I may have cried on the floor in my kitchen for about 90 seconds).
A few days later heavy bleeding and cramping began and lasted 42 days!…but abnormal, longer periods are common for your first period after having a baby. Then in all my googling I discovered a few woman had similar experiences with generic tests. But I also discovered via my friend Claire googling that there is something medically called “chemical pregnancy” which is a very early miscarriage. So the question is, “Was I pregnant, or was it truly a false positive?” A lot of people have there opinion when I tell them the story, but I will never fully know. I can’t say that I am excited I am not pregnant, but like so many hard situations in our life, God has shown me that His timing is perfect and He has a plan.
****Word of advice: When buying pregnancy tests….don’t go with the generic brand!******